Pretty Instinct
by S.E. Hall
Release Date: May 16, 2014
βIf opposites attract, then I am nothing. Because you, you are everything.β
Thereβs no easy road traveled to such an intense sentiment, one I never dreamt Iβd feelβ¦
But I also never planned on Cannon Blackwell climbing aboard my tour bus.
Thereβs no easy road traveled to such an intense sentiment, one I never dreamt Iβd feelβ¦
But I also never planned on Cannon Blackwell climbing aboard my tour bus.
Meet Connor!
Meet Conner, aka Bubs, Lizzieβs older brother...a very special character who will tug at your heart and humble you as you unfold his mystery.
βJarretttttt, Iβm home!β Conner screeches the minute the door to the tour bus opens, his poor fish ricocheting off the sides of the bags from his exuberant shaking. Iβm unsure why he always calls out for Jarrett first, the boys both equally good to him, both in our lives the exact same amount of time. I wonder if Rhett ever asks himself the same thing, or if it hurts his feelings? Knowing Rhett like I do, the answer is undoubtedly yes.
βThere he is!β Jarrett smiles, standing from the bench seat to give him a hug. βWe missed you, bud. You have a good time with your dad?β He glances over Connerβs shoulder to me as he asks. He worries too, after living through it all right by my side.
βAsk if he saw Alma,β I mouth.
βDid you see Miss Alma today, buddy?β he questions casually, my jaw clenched tight as I wait for the answer.
βYes, she loves me. Bethy too.β My brother can contain it no longer, already over any conversation not about his pets. βSee my fish?β He shoves the bags in Jarrettβs face. βThe red oneβs yours. You can name it if you want.β
Still behind them observing, I roll my hand, wanting Jarrett to confirm specifics. He winks, reading me like a book. βAwesome fish, dude, weβll put them in a bowl in a sec. Whatβd Alma make you to eat today?β
βGrilled cheese. Rhett, Bruce the Moose, Iβm home!β Jarrett and I both chuckle at Connerβs clear dismissal of any further banter. He says he saw her, and heβs back with me now, seemingly unharmed, so I guess allβs well enough for me to move on.
Jarrett leans in to conspire in his ear. βYour uncle ran to town, but Rhettβs in bed, go wake him up.β
Such a shit, sending Conner to do his dirty work.
Once heβs bouncing down the hallway to torture anyone in the vicinity, Jarrett sits back down and pats the spot beside him for me to take. βHow bad this time?β
I flop my head on his shoulder, letting him entwine our fingers. βNot too. Short and bitterly sweet.β I tilt my head and grin mischievously up at him. βI got in a few good jabs.β
βIβd expect no less.β
βI didnβt see Alma, though, which worries me. I just wish Conner wouldnβt ask to go. I wish heβd remember why he shouldnβt want to go.β
βYou sure about that? Maybe itβs better that he doesnβt remember. Thereβs a lot of bad shit stuck in my head I wish I could forget, ya feel me?β He squeezes my hand and brushes a kiss at my temple.
In a way heβs right, I donβt want Bubs to have those visions in his head, waking him up at night, confusing him. But without his recollection, and him saying it out loud, I canβt ever prove what I know to be true. And therefore, I canβt keep him from our father. Itβs never ending, these thoughts, the internal debates on the lesser of two evils. Itβs exhausting.
Conner played soccer and football from youth to high school; our father didnβt attend a single game. He was in a garage band for almost three years; Daddy Demon never heard a single song. He didnβt give a shit about Conner before the accident, which Iβd bet my left tit was far from an accident, but now heβs hell bent on playing house with a twenty-seven-year-old man he barely even knows? I havenβt figured it out, but I will.
My thoughts are splintered by a nasally shriek. βGet out, you retarded freak! What the fuck is wrong with you?β
Iβm on my feet and down the corridor in a flash, Jarrett hot on my heels.
βBubs? Bubs, what happened?β I ask as calmly as I can, dropping to my knees and wrapping my arms around him. Heβs curled into a ball on the floor, rocking back and forth and banging clenched fists against his head. βConner, stop,β I command, trying to restrain his arms, gasping in piercing pain when I catch his accidental elbow to the jaw. Always the damn elbow. βShit,β I howl, shaking my head and rubbing it quickly before going back in. βJarrett, help me! Rhett!β
Theyβre already there, caught in the flurry of commotion, one of them now flinging me out of the way so they can stop Conner from hurting himself. This time itβs my back, a sharp blow knocking the air from me as Iβm tossed aside, landing against the edge of a bunk. Iβve gotten pretty tough over the years, so I take the moment to ignore the back and rub on my jaw some more, working out the ache.
Cami, our bassist and the one whoβd set this catastrophe in motion, scrambles down and out of her top bunk, pulling a t-shirt over herself. βLiz, you canβt expect us to live like this! Your pervy fucking brother was creeping on me again. I donβt care what the hellβs wrong with him, I have a right to privacy!β
You live on a tour bus with four men, sleep nude, and have an expectation of privacy? Anyone else think that train of thought is asinine? Not my job to show her the light, though, that epic fail is all on the fools who raised her βcry wolf when convenientβ exhibitionist ass. Helluva job. But more importantly, I havenβt the time or energy to waste on the about to be ex-member; I have to take care of my brother, the innocent, precious soul she name-called and scared to death.
Rising slowly to stand nose to nose with her, I concentrate on my breathing as a source of center, reminding myself the last thing Conner needs to see is violence. How badly he reacts to it, over-exaggerated even for him, is one of the biggest reasons I suspect foul play that summer I went to camp. If I dust this bitch right now, Iβll make things worse for an already petrified Bubs.
Itβs this concern alone that saves her life. Otherwise, Iβd have already mopped the floor with her and made her like it. βCami, whatβs wrong with you? He didnβt mean a thing by it.β
βIβm sick of it! Iβve bit my tongue long enough. βNobody upset the retardβ gets old,β she air quotes snottily, testing everything in me not to lower those hands for her. βHeβs always spying on me. I almost think heβs faking it just to get a peep show!β
Yes, that is exactly it, diva. Heβs been faking it for seven long years in hopes of one day getting a glimpse of your uneven mosquito bites. Way to go, Cami the Case Cracker!
I literally have to take a minute and simply stare at her for my brain to compute such venomous hatred coming out of nowhere. Camiβs lived on this bus with Conner for months. Iβve even seen her help him with his puzzles a time or two, so the level of animosity pouring from her now is shocking and completely unexpected.
βHe was looking for Rhett, you delusional, heartless bitch. He wanted to show off the new fish he got and mixed up the bunks.β My voice cracks and I gulp down the threatening sob, a cumbersome bubble in the middle of my throat. βBut luckily, Conner isnβt doomed. Heβll be fine in a few minutes, still an angel. You,β I take a step in, crunching her toes under my own and making sure to curl my lip and bare my teeth, βhowever, are screwed for life. Thereβs no hope for the kind of evil inside you and Iβm only sorry I didnβt see it sooner. Ugly and mean to the core is no way to go through life, Cami. Iβd pick the way Conner does it over yours any day of the week. Now pack your shit, next stop is yours.β
βYou canβt be serious! Youβre kicking me out of the band, whose only chance in hell is me, because I donβt want some freak staring at my tits?β
βJarrett?β I plead, flexing my fists in and out, praying for willpower I donβt usually possess.
βOn it.β He inches himself between us. βGet your shit together, Cami, youβre out. And shut the fuck up while you do it. I donβt hit women, but you call him another name and Iβll damn sure smack a bitch.β
βYou canβt just dump me, I donβt have a car! Unbelievable,β she scoffs.
βAnd your tits arenβt.β Jarrett scores one for the whole team. βBut weβll take you where you need to go. We have some decorum.β
While he stands guard over her, I move to the front of the bus where Rhettβs corralled Conner. Squatting down in front of him, I pry his hands away from over his face. βHey, look at me.β
βS-sorry, Sister,β he chokes out in a trembling voice.
βWhat are you sorry for, huh? Being amazing, kind, and good lookinβ? Being a winner? Cause thatβs what you are!β He doesnβt answer me, burying his face behind Rhettβs shoulder. βWhatβs the rule, Conner?β I jostle his leg. βHuh? Tell me the rule.β
Still shaken and ashamed, he doesnβt answer, so I do it for him. βYou win and every other motherfucker loses, right?β
βRight,β he grunts from his hiding spot, Rhett rubbing his back and smiling at me.
βWhoβs the winner?β
βIβm the winner.β He peeks one eye out at me. Precious. How could anyone ever be mean to that face; those huge, innocent eyes, filled with unconditional love, and those sweet dimples?
βYouβre damn right you are.β I hop up, grabbing his hand to raise his arm triumphantly in the air. βLadies and gentlemen, boy and girls, Conner Matthew Carmichael is the winner!β
The boys clap and hoot while Cami rolls her eyes and continues to stuff shit in her duffle. Now Conner beams ear to ear, all again right with the world.
βIβm keeping her fish,β he boasts and we all die laughing.
About the AuthorS.E. Hall is the author of the Amazon Best Selling Evolve Series, Emerge, Embrace, Entangled (novella) and Entice as well as the bestselling stand-alone NA Romance, Pretty Instinct. She also co-wrote Stirred Up, an erotic short story with her CP and friend, Author Angela Graham and is honored to be a part of the USA Today and NYT Best Selling Devour box set. S.E., which stands for Stephanie Elaine, resides in Arkansas with her husband of 18 years and 3 beautiful daughters of the home, and one married daughter who graced her with two beautiful grandchildren. When not in the stands watching her ladies play softball, she enjoys reading and writing and the occasional trip to the casino. She's also clutch at Baggo, when it's warm outside, and definitely the woman to pick on your side for some Flip Cup!
S.E. Hall Social Media:
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Emergeauthor
Blog: www.mysehallauthor.com
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